American Classic – Day 6
My dear friend Miriam has done me the great honor of answering my Proust Fashion Questionnaire for today. Miriam is absolutely one of the most talented sitcom writers ever and she just got back from a three month stint writing sitcoms in Paris – How cool is that? And how chic!
I asked Miriam to be my first guest post because she, like me, is a mom and she, like me, is a comedy writer. If fashion is a struggle for most moms, it is an almost insurmountable battle for most comedy-writing moms. To watch us be fashionable is like watching a turtle try to do a high jump at the Olympics. Sure, you’re rooting for the turtle, but in your heart you know three-inch legs can only jump so high. I’ve known Miriam for over fifteen years, we’ve spent probably a thousand hours together and yet this is the first time we’ve ever spoken about clothes. And we’re women. Quick! Someone report us to the stereotype squad immediately!
So with much anticipation, here is my friend, and fellow Olympic turtle, Miriam –
“The Proust Fashion Questionnaire”
What is your greatest fashion fear? Being caught in Paris not wearing a scarf or worse, wearing a smile.
Which historical fashion figure do you most identify with? Mama Cass, the muumuu years.
What are you wearing in perfect fashion happiness? If by “perfect fashion happiness” you mean a world without mirrors, then the answer is: any of the seven stretchy items in my wardrobe.
What physical trait do you most deplore in yourself? Only the traits covered in skin.
On what occasion do you lie about your appearance? When I tell myself that it’s okay to dress casually for every single event ever.
What is your greatest fashion regret? That I never learned to accessorize. Or dress.
What outfit were you the most happiest in? The rust colored corduroy pants I got when I was four. (Which were boldly worn with a striped t-shirt.)
What is your most treasured fashion possession? Basset hounds. They look good with everything.
If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? I would give myself the ability to speak more than one language and a greater thirst for knowledge. And taste. I would give myself taste.
What is your most marked physical characteristic? My averageness. I am so average that it is remarkable.
What type of clothing do you most like to see on a man? I love a man in suspenders. Unless accompanied by the aroma of tractor fuel and/or cow manure.
What type of clothing do you most like to see on a woman? I like to see women wearing clothing that looks extremely uncomfortable because then I can feel superior in my choice to be less uncomfortable.
Who are your fashion heroes in real life? My fashion heroes are women who write fashion blogs and who try out different styles each month. And who even know that different styles exist.
What fashion trend have you most disliked? Surgical masks worn in public by anyone who isn’t on their way to a waiting emergency vehicle. And bustles.
What is your fashion motto? Wear the most pajama-like clothing you can find and wish for the world to go blind.